Top Traffic Ticket Excuses

Date posted: 03/16/2012

by Jen Lamboy on
in Tickets & Violations

woman excuses Top Traffic Ticket ExcusesIt takes a skilled artist to craft an excuse so fantastic that it defies traffic tickets. In fact, one former cop admitted to us that only the utmost creativity could sway him from handing over a citation. But who are these people? And more importantly, what are they saying that actually works?

In search of the perfectly put excuse, we asked our community of users to offer up their best. The replies ranged from highly inventive and charmingly honest to downright embarrassing and significantly disgusting. Here’s a list of our favorites.

“Bees!” (Tried and true admits one user, and also stolen from the movie Tommy Boy.)

“I was trying to keep up with traffic.” To which the cop replied, “There is no traffic.” So she replied with, “That’s how far behind I am.”

“I didn’t even have my foot on the pedal; my truck is just heavy rolling down the hill.” (From one of our Colorado mountain town drivers.)

“I’m lost.” (Perhaps adding a deep look of despair will do the trick.)

“I’ve been at work all day and really need to get home to see my family.” (This user admits his honest answer worked like a charm!)

“My wife’s having a baby; I was just warming up my tires.” (Maybe ditch the last sentence if you’re going to give this one a whirl; one of our law enforcement resources says trying to be funny just ticks him off.)

“I really have to pee.” (Birthed from the mouth of a very pregnant driver, this statement is more effective the bigger the bump.)

“I have way too much to try and finish before December 21st. You don’t reeeeeally expect me to go the speed limit, right? You aren’t Mayan, are you??” (Funny but not too saucy. OK, maybe a little.)


And our top pick:

“Gotta poop.” (Fair enough, and just the right amount of embarrassment an officer might actually think you’re telling the truth.)


And honorable mention goes to the following. They couldn’t possibly work, but still made us laugh. We’d never suggest you try these the next time you get pulled over, but if you do, PLEASE tell us what happened!

“I was controlled by aliens.”

“I dropped my blunt.”


Got a clever excuse? Leave a comment below or share the line on Facebook that helped you weasel your way out of a traffic ticket, or one that is just too funny to keep to yourself. Our driving community wants to hear it (and judging by the feedback we got, could really use it!).

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About Jen Lamboy

Jen Lamboy is a Colorado-based word girl and yoga teacher. She's covered crime beats (which made her cry), endurance sports (well, OK, that made her cry, too), arts and entertainment, pop culture, dining, health and wellness, you name it. She's also written for various food publications and another rag called The Onion that has very little do with edible goodness. When she's not running mountain trails, holding a handstand while listening to Survivor's Eye of the Tiger, or chasing a smaller being around the front yard, Jen is sitting at the edge of her kitchen chair tapping away about the riveting automotive world. More articles by Jen Lamboy

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